Olympic Journey
- lucyclimbing
- Jan 4, 2021
- 12 min read
It would be a lie to say my Olympic dream began just 4 years ago. It would also be a lie to say the journey will end here.
In 20 years time, if I look back on my journey and I never made the Olympic team, it will be my perseverance, the fact that I never gave up through all the ups and downs that makes me proud. Not any result, not any one achievement, and not any failure. It will be the sum of the parts and my commitment through it all that I will be proud of.
It would be a lie to say that I didn’t wish what followed was the tale of how my Olympic dream for Tokyo 2020 finally came together in a magical weekend in December 2020. Unfortunately in life things don’t always go to plan, as perfectly demonstrated to the whole world with what was 2020. What follows is my fulfilling journey so far of resilience, highs and lows and a moment to realise all my hard work paying off in one physically and mentally challenging weekend. I gave it my all and in the end that is where the true competition lies.
I am so grateful for all the experiences I’ve had so far, for my parents, family, partner, friends and sponsors who’ve supported me every step of the way. I would like to find a way to explain all the ups and downs and the whole rollercoaster that has got me to this point in my climbing career and in life. It’s often difficult to explain the challenges we face without sounding like we want pity or praise or like we’re making excuses. I find it frustrating that we rarely speak to each other about our own struggles because of these reasons. When we see someone sharing their story of struggle we can tend to jump to judgemental conclusions rather than being empathetic. Sharing our challenges can make each struggle feel less overwhelming and knowing someone else has been through similar circumstances can make it easier to come out the other end stronger and more resilient. I’m not proud of some of the challenges I’ve faced and don’t particularly like the idea of sharing them at all… but I know I’m not the only one who’s been there, and my story might help someone who is currently struggling.
I distinctly remember a moment over 8 years ago in 2012. At the time many of us were hoping Sport Climbing would be labelled as an official sport by the AOC and included as a trial sport in the 2020 Olympics (now being held in 2021). I was living in Sydney at the time training for the World Youth Championships in Singapore under the skilled eye of coaches Carlie and Rob Lebreton. On our way to the gym one day one of their lovely daughters Minah said to me “If climbing makes the cut, promise me you’ll give it everything to get to the Olympics. I know you can do it.” I kept that promise for myself and along the way I’ve had to realise that this journey has been entirely selfish. Not in any way wrong, but yes, selfish. I set the goal for myself, not to please or make anyone proud, but for all the reasons we want to reach our own goals. To prove to ourselves that anything is possible, for fulfilment, challenge, purpose and simply for fun. It’s an added bonus if I’ve managed to inspire others along the way.
The Olympics is not necessarily the pinnacle of climbing. The wonderful thing about our sport is there are so many avenues for challenges like outdoor projects, World Cups in each individual discipline and at World Championship events. I’ve spent much of my career before and during my Olympic journey projecting outdoors and pushing my limits at international comps. There is however, something about the Olympic spirit that I’ve always found myself dreaming about. On a massive scale, athletes come together from all over the world, each with their own story and years of dedication and hard work. I love the camaraderie shown at the Olympics with athletes even supporting their fellow competitors through the exhaustion, sweat and tears, hoping to also achieve that perfect ‘climb’ on the day. Camaraderie and sportsmanship is ingrained in climbing and one of the things I love so much about the sport, but being a part of it on such a large scale across all Olympic sports would be magical. I am grateful to have experienced a taste of this massive event atmosphere at The World Games in Poland in 2017 and will never forget how awesome it felt.
It’s never been about winning a prize or position for me. Competing in climbing and pushing myself outdoors is something I truly enjoy and where I find my own sense of purpose. It’s not what some might see as a sacrifice to put in years of grueling training for one event. I love training and the endless hours of physical exertion, pushing through the pain to get a little closer to our goals. Even if it’s just for a moment, the feeling of all the hard work paying off is worth it for just one climb of pure perfection. A climb where you fought through the pain, you made mistakes but kept climbing. You pulled through moves that seemed impossible from the ground and even if you fell before the top it was the exact climb you’d hoped for simply because you gave it absolutely every ounce of strength you had. It is difficult to describe, but that one perfect climb is worth every droplet of sweat, every bleeding finger, every session of struggle and every doubting moment.
For many of my early years competing at World Cups and throughout my journey toward the Olympic qualifiers I had a pretty serious eating disorder fuelled by an overwhelming sense that I had no control. I was experiencing a lot of grief after an accident took my boyfriend in 2012 and in the same year my cousin passed away leaving many of us feeling the cruelty and unpredictable nature of life. Unfortunately my avenue for grief was finding the only thing I thought I could control and that was my climbing and my diet. It took a lot of support to come out of the denial of what I was experiencing and even today I struggle to openly talk about it. It’s taken years of support but I’m getting there and I’m proud to be where I am today. Not of what I went through or how I treated my body in the past, but of merely seeking support and trying to change even if I didn’t want it at the time. The truth is that eating disorders are a serious issue in sport and I hope at some point everyone suffering can find the strength to seek support.
In 2016 Australia, New Zealand and New Caledonia held our Oceanic Championships in Noumea in all three disciplines of Speed, Boulder and Lead. Although not the official Olympic tri-fecta format, it was my first idea of what it would be like competing in all three disciplines at one competition. It was a long, gruelling weekend but I was incredibly happy to take home 3 medals: 1st in lead, 2nd in boulder and 3rd in speed. This event fuelled my passion and drive to take the Olympic position in 2020.
At this time Sport Climbing had just been approved as an invitational sport at the 2020 Olympics, however we still didn’t have confirmation on the qualification process. We would later find out that there would only be two positions available for Oceanic athletes, one male and one female. We would also have a chance to earn a position through the 2019 World Championships in Japan but in the end no Oceanic athlete made the required cut off of top 20. At our Oceanic qualifying event one person would score the lowest combined score and earn their ticket to the next Olympics.
Fast-forward to 2020 and I don’t think anyone was truly prepared for what crazy things the year brought to the table. 2020 never really stopped throwing punches. I’m not sure whether it was luck or outlook, but for me there seemed to be a silver lining to most of the challenges that were thrown my way. When we first heard of Covid-19 being an issue I was so focused on the Olympic Qualifiers to be held in March that I was certain it would go ahead as planned. We were just 10 days away from the selection event in Sydney and I had spent the last month there entirely dedicated to training on the SICG Villawood walls and readying myself for the competition. Despite everything shutting down and being cancelled around me, I was so sure the comp was going ahead that through my tunnel vision it wasn’t even a possibility that the competition might be postponed or cancelled. So it came as a huge shock when the news that the event was postponed indefinitely came through. It seems odd now looking back that I didn’t see it coming, but at the time all I could see or think about was the upcoming competition. In an instant, one of the core things I had anchored myself to disappeared. It was a very difficult period of uncertainty not knowing if the comp would be cancelled entirely or when it would be postponed until. I spent a great deal of time making plans upon plans for every possible scenario but felt pretty lost with no certain dates to work around. I felt a lot of loss and frustration over the postponed event but also guilty for my emotions around something comparably unimportant when people all over the world were dying. I didn’t know whether to take the time to rest after such a massive period of intense training or continue pushing through as the event might have come around sooner than expected.
In early June I took a ground fall while climbing outdoors and fractured my 5th sacral segment (base of the pelvis and spine and just above the coccyx). It was my first ever broken bone and took me 3 months to get back to full training again. Surprisingly it was actually a blessing in disguise and gave my body the rest and reset it needed. It was such a shock to the system that it actually put life in a little more perspective for me. I felt gratitude and happiness for the little things in life rather than dwell on the past. I had so much support from my physio sponsor Revive Ashgrove through this process that when I came out of it I somehow felt stronger and in a better headspace than before.
A month after returning to training I was spending some time outdoors and managed to tick an old project of mine called “Evil Knievel” (29) at Mt Coolum. A few weeks later I became the first female to send “Evil Wears No Pants” (30) and not long after sent my first ever grade 31 “Esoteric Agenda”. I felt on top of the world and was so happy to be getting outdoors and enjoying climbing for all the reasons I fell in love with it to begin with. After my sweet sending spree I then knuckled down back into my training plan for the Olympic Qualifiers, which now had a semi-confirmed date to be held in December.
5 weeks before the comp I drove back down to Sydney to spend time training before the competition, as I’d done earlier in the year. It was exactly what I needed and I was happy to see massive improvements especially in my speed and lead. I was also stoked to win the NSW Boulder State Titles at the beginning of my time down there. The last 2 weeks leading into the comp had a hiccup or two where I accidentally broke my toe in the most unimpressive and clumsy way possible. This meant I couldn’t fit into my climbing shoe for a week, scaring the bejeebers out of me. It was devastating at first but I was back into all my comp shoes again in a week’s time, ready for Oceanic Champs. Two days before the comp there was a Covid-19 outbreak north of Sydney which meant even more people were unable to travel or attend the competition, and some even had to leave half way through to make sure they made it home ok. The whole comp weekend had a sort of bittersweet vibe as we all felt horrible for those athletes unable to make it, but also relieved that the event could finally be held after such a crazy year.
And then it was happening. After such a massive lead up it was finally the first day of the Oceanic Olympic Qualifiers. Each athlete was only allowed one spectator at the event and I was lucky to have my devoted partner Alex travel there to support me. My amazing parents, family and friends would be watching us all on the live-stream back home and it made me smile thinking of them screaming cheers at their computers / TV screens.
Day one of competition saw me with a new PB in speed under 13 seconds and an awesome climb putting me in second place for lead. My boulder round was less than ideal but I was proud of my overall efforts for the day. It was time to go back to the AirBNB, plead the climbing Gods for an unnatural amount of skin growth for my fingertips, sleep and prepare myself for finals the next day. Before I left the competition on the first day I had a chat to the team physio Justine about my back as it had decided to seize up after the lead route. It seemed like it would be fine after some exercises and a good rest but after I woke up the next morning it was frustratingly painful.
It was close to the area around my earlier sacral injury and seemed to be seizing up with certain movements. With the help of the Australian Team coaches and Team physio (via skype) I kept it moving and taped it up to avoid further damage.
Speed was first up. It did not go well at all and I had to take a moment of deep breathing to pull myself together as negative thoughts crept their way in. I tried to push the thoughts aside but when my toe started swelling up and my back pained I realised I was making all the niggles into little excuses for the way I was performing. Truthfully they were painful but shouldn’t have hindered my performance in any way. The only thing they did do was facilitate doubting thoughts to creep their way into my mind. I shook it all off, gritted my teeth and said to myself; “you are not a quitter. Pull yourself together. This comp is to be completed.”
The finals boulder round was pretty terrible for me and I couldn’t seem to put in the fight and power that I usually would. I managed to rip a small hole in my thumb and spent the whole time before lead finals trying to stop it bleeding. Before the last round of the competition I superglued it and taped it up with some experienced taping advice from Tom O’Halloran. Thank you Tom!
The finals lead route itself was incredible and really proved to be the perfect way to end the entire journey. I fought so hard from the very beginning and pushed through the pump and fatigue. I forgot about my back, my toe and my heavily taped throbbing finger and I felt at home and in the zone. I made mistakes but found my flow and kept moving until my hands wouldn’t close anymore and my arms wouldn’t work. To me it was perfect and I’m proud to have placed 3rd in the discipline.
Going into the event, I wasn’t the highest ranked athlete most likely to qualify. But I wasn’t going to let that knowledge stop me from giving it my best effort and letting all my hard work pay off. Anything can happen in competition and each one of us deserved to be there. Oceana M. was as usual, a graceful unstoppable force the whole weekend and I felt goosebumps when she topped the finals route, claiming her position as Australia’s first female Sport Climbing Olympian. Tom O’Halloran took the male Olympic ticket which was such an incredible moment and so well deserved. Of course I was upset to have lost the hope of making that position myself, but the happiness I felt for them both outweighed the tears I thought would come, but never did. I was happy to have given it my best and relieved to have finally completed such a long journey.
I may not have won the Olympic ticket this time, but I’ve had so many incredible opportunities because of this journey and learnt so many lessons along the way. I’m proud of the athlete I am today, I’m grateful for every moment and I’m excited for whatever life brings next. I hope to compete for a position at the Paris 2024 Olympics and in more World Cups and World Championships beforehand.
A massive thank you to my sponsors: Flight Centre, Clif Bar, Pinnacle Sports, Revive Ashgrove, Black Diamond, Evolv, Osprey, Queensland Academy of Sport and my home gym Urban Climb for supporting me throughout this journey and opening up opportunities for me that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise. Thank you to my parents, family, partner Alex and my friends for standing by me and making every challenge easier to overcome. Thanks to every person who sends me kind words and comments of support because every single one is important and helps me push forward.
To finish off here’s an inspiring quote a friend sent to me before the Oceanic Championships which I know will stick with me forever…
“Somewhere behind the athlete you’ve become and the hours of practice and the coaches who have pushed you is a girl who fell in love with the game and never looked back… play for her.” - Mia Hamm
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